How to Stay Bright Around Negative People Without Losing Your Mind or Your Light

“You can’t calm the storm… so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.”  Timber Hawkeye

Some people light up the room when they walk in. Others … when they walk out.

We’ve all had those moments.  You're feeling great, holding your own, maybe even enjoying your day, until that person shows up. The complainer. The critic. The energy vampire. The subtle (or not-so-subtle) drama dealer. Suddenly, you feel drained, agitated, or pulled into a mood.

And if that person is a colleague, relative, partner, or even a friend you once loved dearly, walking away may not feel like an option.

So how do you protect your energy and stay grounded around negative people without feeling like you’re either being fake or walking on eggshells?

Let’s walk through some soul-smart strategies that are grounded in research and compassion.

1. Name What’s Happening Without Judging Yourself for It

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”       Carl Jung

The first step? Simply noticing. Are you feeling tight in your shoulders? Distracted in your thoughts? Judging others, the situation, or yourself? Often, we’re so busy reacting that we forget to check in with what’s actually going on within us.

Try this:

The next time you feel the drain, pause and ask:

·      “Is this mine, or am I picking something up from them?”

·      “What do I need to feel grounded in this moment?”

This puts your awareness back in your own body instead of unconsciously matching their vibe.

2. Set Micro-Boundaries That Protect Your Peace

Negativity thrives in unconscious interactions. When you bring clarity, you bring power.

Try this:

• Use time boundaries: “I’ve got 5 minutes, but I’d love to hear what’s going on.”

• Use emotional boundaries: “That’s a lot. I don’t have the bandwidth for that right now.”

• Use topic boundaries: “I’d rather focus on something uplifting today. What’s been good lately?”

According to boundary researcher and social scientist Dr. Brené Brown, clear boundaries are key to compassion. Think of them not walls but as clarity with kindness.

3. Don’t Get Pulled into the Fix-It Trap

Negative people often want a reaction, not a resolution. You don’t owe them your solutions or your serenity.

Try this:

Offer empathy without entanglement.

·      “That sounds tough.” (Then pause. Let silence do the work.)

·      “I hope things shift soon.”

·      “Mmm… I’m holding space for something better for you.”

You are not a trash bin for their unresolved issues. You can be caring without carrying.

4. Reaffirm Who You Want to Be in the Room

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”  Viktor Frankl

Negative people can push us into roles we don’t want: the rescuer, the reactor, the pleaser, the avoider.

But what if you made your own role; that of the Regulator, the Light-Holder, the Boundary-Setter, the Calm One?

Try this:

Before a potentially tough interaction, ask:

·      “What energy do I want to bring into this conversation?”

·      “What would it look like to hold my center today?”

Research on emotional contagion shows that moods are contagious, and they can be interrupted. You don’t have to absorb someone else’s weather.

5. Let Go With Grace When Needed

Some relationships are meant to be thinned - not severed, not dramatized, just gently loosened.

Try this:

• Reduce frequency of interaction.

• Let texts go unanswered longer.

• Redirect conversations when they get too heavy.

• And if necessary, say something kind but clear: “I’m in a season of protecting my energy more fiercely, and I need to take some space.”

You're allowed to grow without taking everyone with you.

A Final Thought

Negative people can stir up old patterns, challenge your peace, and sometimes show you where you still need to draw lines with love, and they can also be the catalyst that teaches you how powerful, calm, and clear you’re becoming.

“You do not have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”  Unknown

You’re allowed to shine. You’re allowed to walk away. You’re allowed to be kind and unavailable at the same time.

Stay bright.